River Houston's Poem

I found it! The poem I wanted to find yesterday, finally found it. This is called "Death is for the dead" by River Houston

AIDS AIDS AIDS
fuck it man I'm saying it
when I asked my mama what fuck meant she said
fuck, fuck fuck
the world looks and sees what it wants
they have memorials written
they have you wasted and dead
skeleton in your bed
AIDS AIDS AIDS
Oliver Wendell Holmes
once said
"To find true happieness get a terminal illness
and take real good care of your self."
real good care pajama parties cookies and milk
afternoon naps kinda care
lots of LOVE LOVE LOVE
I see angels flying
above everyone's head
miracles all day long
in oranges brown fat crawly bugs
on the big time journey across the towpath
ducks in winter Ginkgo trees raining yellow
GINKGO GINKGO GINKGO
my dog smiling and wagging its tail
to the rhythm of three sweet altos
"Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door"
Rivers are always miracles
they aren't stopped by rocks
bridges boulders beer bottles
old tires dead bodies
or even dead refrigerators
they go around over above under
embracing all they touch
they never go back to the beginning
to get it right
changing forever seeking accepting expanding being
We have moral worlds filled with Gods
Buddha Christ Vishnu Mohammed and Henry
the hitchhiker's god
they walk us through to the end
shedding our named coats
our finely pressed out laid out
figured out fitted in life suits
no expectations no more
mundane earthly matters
9-5 skull famine
weight-loss facelifts fashion statements
free to go home
the early release program
do the mambo till dawn
safe sex erotic safe sex
free of judgment, guilt and shame
death is for the dead
and living is for every one else
AIDS AIDS AIDS
hey I said it
don't memorialize metaphorize
hypnotize catergorize or sanitize me
its hard enough living with an illusion
no more sympathetic death sentence eyes
I'm not dead dying
no siree bob I'm living
just thought I'd let you know